The Food Story
Everybody has a beginning, and after you have lived on this earth for a time, everybody has a story.
I was talking to my son about this today, as I shared what had happened with our freezer full of food.
In my previous post, I mentioned that the Scripture came to me because in my heart I knew that I was hoarding food out of fear.
There are still little parts of me, part of my story, that I am coming to terms with. I guess this is something that will happen the rest of our lives, as we continue to press into Christ.
Many years ago, I was homeless. It wasn't by choice, of course, but I was in a really terrible situation. This post is not about that, but about some of the circumstances surrounding it.
I had 3 little boys and I was pregnant.... and we were without a permanent home. We were waiting to get into an apartment, but until then, it was shoddy motel rooms that would be our shelter.
Food was scarce and I had to make sure that the children had food.
We were attending a very large church, and I felt that it was MY church, MY Christian family, so I felt comfortable enough , though embarrassed, to go to the churches food pantry.
I let the secretary know that we were in need of food. What happened next, became part of my life story, that the Lord has used in my life to minister to others.
A "pastor" came out and in a very abrupt and loud way, stated in front of a large office full of people, "So How Did You Get Yourself into This Situation?"
I was horrified. Humiliated, embarrassed.... I had never asked for food before. I didn't know how to do it, or how to be at the bottom. But there I was.
I wound up leaving in tears. I didn't stay long enough to get any "help" from my own church, my own brothers and sisters in Christ.
The Catholic church wound up being very kind and helping me. No humiliation, no questions.
The difficulties in my earlier life went on for many years, and I learned to make food stretch in amazing ways, and I also went without food so my children could eat.
So, as things got better, I found myself making sure we didn't run out of food. I would find sales and then eventually, more food than we really needed.
I always bought food to share, in case a neighbor needed food.
There were many times where we had the blessing of taking food from our own pantry to others who were in need.
What I didn't realize in all of that was that I was trying to make sure that I was providing for my own needs and not depending upon the Lord, as HE is our provider.
There is a fine line between being prepared and hoarding out of fear. That is where I was, hoarding out of fear.
The next church we went to, I asked if we could start a food pantry; the kind that doesn't have people come out and ask questions and embarrass you. It was open to anybody who had need, and they could go in and get what needed. And when they were able, they could give to the pantry. That pantry wound up being quite a wonderful ministry and continues to this day.
We also brought 4 little girls into our lives who came from very difficult backgrounds. All of them had issues with food. They were deprived of food, and even starved.
Because of my earlier experience, I could understand in a small way, the fear of not having food, even if food was all around.
For them, I made sure that they had a little lunch box with non perishables to keep near their beds at night. I never wanted them to go all night worrying if they were going to have a meal in the morning.
And then I was able to minister to them by serving them good and healthy meals and let them eat as much as they wanted.
All of them today, have healthy eating habits and no longer need the lunch box under the bed. :)
And that brings me to trust that I don't need the giant freezer on the back porch. As I have seen God's faithfulness in providing for our every need.
Lord, I thank you for caring for me. You have always provided for my needs. You have given me daily bread, both physically and spiritually.
I am so thankful.